Motivate Me

It’s been about seven months since I had a cigarette and I’ve been giving some thought to what’s motivated me in my effort to quit.

Essentially, what motivates me is not the abstract notion of a better and longer life. It is the thought of having to go through the withdrawal process again. In a way, I’m motivated by fear and distrust. Knowing what a passionate person I am, I don’t trust myself to have just one. And then weaning me from nicotine would be the equivalent of sticking my hand over an open flame, purposefully subjecting to that incessant high-pitched existential whine. I think I wrote about my experience with withdrawal here before. I think that report showed me more as animal than man.

Since quitting, I’ve somehow managed to become unhealthier. Any benefits to my lungs and arteries derived from quitting nicotine where quickly negated by Chicken McNuggets and potato chips. Not to say that quitting cigarettes has been bereft of all perks. I’ve been able to get some modeling work as a ‘before’ model.

So while visiting my sister over the weekend, we came up with a reverse incentive scheme to motivate us into eating healthier and exercising more. We call it, “No John McCain in 2008.”

It works like this. I made a commitment to not eat food from a fast food establishment or french fries or chips of any kind until the general election. If I break this commitment, I promise to donate $50 to John McCain’s campaign for each infraction. My sister, who already shies from such foods, is committed to exercising at least 30 minutes a day.

I think this will work for two main reasons: 1) We both have integrity and 2) we would rather starve and die than help John McCain win the election.