Petri Flavored

Ate a late lunch today and I had to wolf down my sandwich to make a meeting in time. Aiyah! There is nothing quite like the feeling of cheetos grit embalmed onto your lips under a layer of chapstick. My lips are sparkling with matted cheeto glitter. My lips look as though I’ve kissed a petri dish.

In the news today, scientists may have discovered a way to reverse memory loss. It was an accidental breakthrough that seems dubious given the circumstance. Scientists were performing an experimental brain surgery on a 50 year-old man. The accidental breakthrough came during an experiment originally intended to suppress the obese man's appetite, using the increasingly successful technique of deep-brain stimulation. Electrodes were pushed into the man's brain and stimulated with an electric current. Instead of losing appetite, the patient instead had an intense experience of déjà vu. He recalled, in intricate detail, a scene from 30 years earlier. More tests showed his ability to learn was dramatically improved when the current was switched on and his brain stimulated.

The operative words in the last paragraph are “electrodes were pushed into the man’s brain and stimulated with an electric current.” A question for the scientist, “How is this different from a lobotomy? And brain surgery for appetite suppression?” I don’t believe it. Has man fallen so far?

In another news article, cargo ships are using kites to pull them across seas. Apparently, this reduces fuel emissions by up to 35%. Reminds me of John Candy’s Summer Rental. John Candy wins a boat race using his trousers as an added sail.