Calories

I'm behind in posting these pics. I spent last week dog paddling at work, sputtering and trying to write enough articles to fill the next issue. Pretending to know what I'm writing about is draining.Thinking back on my New Orleans trip, I realized that this trip was the third time I traveled outside New York on an airplane for a non-wedding reason since moving to New York. I'm not counting the times that I visited Rich and Sis in Boston. They were for a day or two except once when I went for a few hours to hear Haruki Murakami give a talk at MIT (I need to revive that trip's post). However, I don't really count the Boston trips because traveling in the safe bosoms of the FungWah somehow takes the adventure and physical toll out of traveling. I drift asleep and when I awake I'm in Boston's bus terminal. The smell of the piss pucks floating from the bathroom, the incessant talking of the drivers on their cellphones, and their noble disregard for the speedlimit make for a carriage-like ride on a bed of buttered popcorn.

I ate an unbelievable amount of delicious food in New Orleans.

1) Z and G took me to Dick & Jane's restaurant. We had a bottle of wine. I tried to aerate the wine in my mouth. This is just a technical way to describe gargling. I ended up channeling the wine into my lungs. After my coughing fit ended, with glassy eyes and a closed fist covering my mouth, I nodded to the waiter as if to say "Excellent. Pour on, friend."

2)Fried Oysters - An appetizer from D&J's. So freakin' good. I was hesitant at first because the last time I had shellfish I sprouted two hernias from vomiting so hard. I'm glad my inner silver back gorilla has a bad memory and likes to take chances because these were delicious. The batter was right and the sauce had the perfect amount of tang and spiciness.

3)Crawfish-cakes on fried green tomatoes. Delish. Another D&J appetizer. I never had a fried green tomato before. I would guess that most dishes can be saved with a simple dunk in the deep fryer with the appropriate batter. Is this an educated guess? MMmmm. Questionable? But it sounds right. I bet a tuna sandwich dipped in batter and deep fried might be really good with enough cheese. I'm extrapolating from my experiences with mozzarella sticks and fried catfish.

4) Leah Chase - Friday, after the conference, Z and I went to the New Orleans African-American Museum of Art, Culture, and Heritage for the unveiling of the 2007 Ella Fitzgerald Postage Stamp. I wore shorts and I felt embarrassed to be so under-dressed. In contrast, when I walked into the ballroom of the conference in the morning and found myself among a sea of suits, I smirked and thought about yelling, "Mommy?!!?! Where are you?" I had a backpack on and was wearing khaki's and a short-sleeved collared shirt.

Leah Chase, dubbed Queen of Creole Cuisine, was there along with her singer daughter who had a nice smile and provided the music. Mom Chase's restaurant is called Dooky Chase and it was a gathering place in the 60s for many who participated in the civil rights movement.

5)Pecan Crusted trout on a bed of cheese grits - nuff' said. so good.

6) Debris Po'Boy - Met up with Z for lunch on the first day of the conference and we walked around the block to Mother's. The Debris refers to the tender meaty goodness that falls off a chunk of meat because it's too relaxed to hang with the rest of the group. It lounges in the gravy pan until it's placed into a fully "dressed" po-boy and into my digestive system.

7) Elk Sausage - Friday night barbecue in Z and G's courtyard. One of Z's co-workers recently shot an elk and sent it somewhere to process his kill into nicely packaged sausages. We had the sausages with roasted peppers. Interestingly, the sausages tasted like other sausages I've had with an nice gamey flavor. Thinking about it now is making me feel agressive. I'm not joking. "Down, inner silverbacked gorilla, not yet. Down boy." They told me how to make roasted peppers and I think I'll try to make them soon.

8) Mother's - Purveyors of the Debris Po-boys.

9) Mother's Cooks - The picassos who sculpt the Debris P-B's. They speak a type of English that I have trouble understanding.

10) Muffuletta - A typical muffuletta consists of one muffuletta loaf, split horizontally. The loaf is then covered with a marinated olive salad, then layers of capicola, salami, mortadella, emmantaler, and provolone. According to wikipedia, one "muff" is more than enough to feed one people. I had half a "muff" and was stuffed. I think "muff" might be one of the funnier sounding words in the english language.

11) Jambalaya - This deserves its own entry and further sociological analysis. Jambalaya reminded me of taking the most delicious dregs from a pot of kimchi-jigae and mixing it with rice. Sorta lay people's everyday food in Korea; Jambalaya is its American cousin.

12) Muffuletta Line - This is where we procured the "muff." It was in Central Grocery Co., where the "muff" was invented in 1906.

13) Kumquat - These were ok. Never had them before. Given a choice, I'd rather have a mandarin orange.

14) Chips - Reminded me of Korean shrimp crackers.

15) Beignets - Sunday morning we walked to Cafe du Monde and ate some of these French Donuts and had a cup of strong black coffee. Instead of powdered sugar, they hooked us up with coke. Southern Hospitality is limitless.

16) Spring Rolls - Afterwards, we drove to a vietnamese community for lunch. These springrolls were the size of a baby's arm. I don't think they even cut the stalk of green onions.

17) Vietnamese Restaurant - I also ate some good pho here. Pretty random how a vietnamese population sprouted in Louisiana. From a bit of research, Vietnamese people began to settle in Louisiana in the Spring of '75 after the fall of Saigon. It looks like the Catholic Church facilitated the moves and they were able to find jobs initially as fishers and shrimpers.

18) Fats Domino - Sunday, on the way to the ninth ward, we stopped by Fats Domino's publishing house. Oh, the irony of taking this picture in my ever tightening pants after eating all the food mentioned above. Eh, whatever, I'm in good company.

19) Toilet Contraption - Saw this at a gelato shop. You press the green button and a film around the toilet seat moves in the direction of the arrows and gives you new plastic film to sit upon. A little too technological for me. I'd rather have the paper ass gaskets. Simple and no moving parts. Reminded me of my recent invention idea - the ear wax picker attachment that you attach to your glasses.

I still have pictures of the Ninth Ward to post and Johnny Goodman and a sweet Preservation Hall video clip.