Overheard

Odessa, last night [drunk guy outside in a doorway talking on his cellphone]:

My whole heart is to you. On the other hand, half of it is against you. I love you. (then he hangs up, sighs, and goes back in)

Drunk logic still gets the meaning across.

Not an overheard moment, because I was a participant, but noteworthy nonetheless. Waiting to use the restroom. The guy in front of me visibly has to use the restroom in a bad way. I tell him to knock and use the women's restroom because homie in the men's is taking a spectacular amount of time. The guy hesitates at my suggestion. He's saying that he can wait while his face is becoming prune-like. You can see the switch to emergency status on his prune face and he walks toward the women's restroom. As he approaches, a male bum walks out. He's shaking his head and saying,

"It's a rough house in there. It's a rough house in there ."
"What do you mean?," I asked.
"It's a rough house in there."

The guy looks at me and decides to take the bum's advice. The men's room opens up and I'm waiting there when a cute girl comes behind me. I'm very curious about the women's restroom at this point. I tell her that the women's room is open and make a sweeping go-ahead gesture with my arm.

"No thanks. It's nasty in there."
"Can you elaborate? A bum just told me the same thing."

I didn't quite get her explanation. She mentioned something about spray and then someone using the sink as a bathroom. I was about to ask her how she knew someone used the sink when i sorta answered my own question.